he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
