well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
