So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
