I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
