Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize