Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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