woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The beers last night were like the tears from god
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
