So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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