Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
