So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
