Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
