i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
