she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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