i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize