Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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