Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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