I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
