what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
