If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
