you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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