he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
