I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
