You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
