If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
