barbara walters just said penis...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
