we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
