She said her name was "party"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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