At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
