is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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