I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
