I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
