trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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