I seem to have left my pride at pride
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
