Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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