You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
