Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
