so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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