Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize