do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
