come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize