I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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