We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
