so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize