its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
