i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
