I'm really into asian looking animals
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
