Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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