worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm bleeding and have questions
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
