We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
as a side note pls kill me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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