i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
