haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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