but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
