remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize