Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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