these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
