And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
