No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
