the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
