Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize