the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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