She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
