Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize