do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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