He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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