She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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