I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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