Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
